对 vs 跟 vs 给: speech-target coverbs in Chinese
The coverbs 对 (duì), 跟 (gēn), and 给 (gěi) can all introduce the person being spoken to, but they emphasize different aspects of communication: 对 focuses on direction of speech, 跟 implies mutual exchange, and 给 marks the recipient of a message or information. Understanding these nuances is key to using them correctly in spoken and written Chinese.
In Chinese, the coverbs 对 (duì), 跟 (gēn), and 给 (gěi) can all introduce the person you are speaking to, but each highlights a different aspect of the communicative act. 对 emphasizes the direction of the speech—you are addressing someone directly, often in a one-way manner. 跟 stresses mutuality, implying a two-way exchange or that you are doing something together (like talking, discussing, or asking). 给 marks the recipient of a message, information, or verbal action; it focuses on the transfer of something (e.g., a phone call, a story, a report). Choosing the right coverb depends on whether the speech is one-directional, reciprocal, or message-focused.
When to use each
Use 对 when the speech action is directed toward someone in a one-way manner—you are speaking to them, not necessarily expecting a back-and-forth. It works well with verbs like 说 (shuō, say), 讲 (jiǎng, tell), 笑 (xiào, laugh at), or 发脾气 (fā píqi, lose temper at). The focus is on the addressee as the target of the speech or attitude.
对 can also express 'regarding' or 'toward' in a broader sense (e.g., 对他好 means 'be good to him'), not limited to speech.
Use 跟 to indicate a reciprocal or collaborative action, especially with speech verbs like 说话 (shuōhuà, talk), 聊天 (liáotiān, chat), 商量 (shāngliang, discuss), or 争吵 (zhēngchǎo, argue). It implies that both parties are engaged in the speech action, often answering or interacting. 跟 also means 'follow' or 'with' for non-speech contexts.
跟 can be used with 说 to mean 'tell someone something (with expectation of response?)' but emphasis remains on two-way communication. In many contexts, 跟 and 对 are interchangeable with 说, but 跟 sounds more conversational and reciprocal.
Use 给 when the speech action involves transmitting a message or information to someone, focusing on the recipient of the verbal content. Common with verbs like 打电话 (dǎ diànhuà, make a phone call), 发短信 (fā duǎnxìn, send a text), 讲故事 (jiǎng gùshi, tell a story), or 报告 (bàogào, report). The emphasis is on the message being delivered to a receiver.
给 also marks the indirect object of giving (e.g., 给我一本书 'give me a book'), and its use with speech verbs is an extension of the 'recipient' meaning.
At a glance
| 对 | 跟 | 给 | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Core meaning | Direction/marking the addressee | With/alongside (reciprocity) | Recipient (transfer) |
| Type of speech | One-way address (tell, say, shout at) | Mutual talk (chat, discuss, argue) | Message delivery (call, report, tell a story) |
| Typical verbs | 说、讲、笑、点头 (say, tell, laugh at, nod to) | 说话、聊天、商量、争吵 (talk, chat, discuss, argue) | 打电话、发短信、讲故事、报告 (make a call, send text, tell story, report) |
| Mutuality implied | No (direction only) | Yes (both sides engage) | No (focus on transmission) |
| Can be used with 说? | Yes (emphasizes direct address) | Yes (emphasizes back-and-forth) | Yes (emphasizes recipient of the words) |
| Register / tone | Neutral to formal | Conversational, friendly | Neutral; common in daily and formal settings |
Examples
- 对他对我笑了笑。Tā duì wǒ xiào le xiào.He smiled at me.Direct address (one-way action).
- 跟我在跟她聊天。Wǒ zài gēn tā liáotiān.I am chatting with her.Mutual talk; both participate.
- 给我给她打了个电话。Wǒ gěi tā dǎ le ge diànhuà.I made a phone call to her.Transmission of a call (recipient).
- 对他对我说：“你好。”Tā duì wǒ shuō: “Nǐ hǎo.”He said to me: “Hello.”Direct one-way speech.
- 跟我跟他说了这件事。Wǒ gēn tā shuō le zhè jiàn shì.I talked with him about this matter (we discussed it).Implies mutual exchange or discussion.
- 给请你给他传个话。Qǐng nǐ gěi tā chuán ge huà.Please pass a message to him.Message transmission (recipient).
Common mistakes
- Using 对 for mutual conversation like chatting: '我对她聊天' is incorrect; use 跟.
- Using 跟 for one-way address like smiling at someone: '我跟我朋友笑了笑' is odd; use 对.
- Using 对 for making a phone call: '我对他打电话' sounds wrong; use 给.
- Using 给 for discussing a topic: '我们给这个问题讨论' is wrong; use 跟.
- Confusing 对 with 给 when saying 'tell someone a story': '他对孩子讲故事' is possible (direct address) but '给孩子讲故事' emphasizes telling the story to the child; best to use 给 for storytelling.
FAQ
- When do I use 对 vs 跟 vs 给 with the verb 说 (shuō)?
- All three can appear before 说, but the nuance differs. 对说 emphasizes the direction of speaking (address). 跟说 implies a conversation or mutual talk (I told him and he responded). 给说 is rarer but possible when focusing on delivering a message (e.g., 给他捎个话). In most daily speech, 对说 and 跟说 are both common but not interchangeable—choose based on whether the interaction is one-way or reciprocal.
- Can I use 对 and 给 interchangeably with 'tell'?
- Not exactly. 对 tells someone something in a direct address (e.g., 我对他说了实话 'I told him the truth'—focus on the act of telling). 给 emphasizes the recipient of the message (e.g., 我给他说了这件事 'I told him about this'—focus on the information transfer). Often they are interchangeable, but 对 is more about the direction, while 给 highlights the recipient of the information.
- Is 跟 always reciprocal?
- Yes, 跟 implies a two-way relationship in speech contexts (talking with someone). With non-speech verbs, 跟 can mean 'follow' (e.g., 跟他走 'follow him') which is not reciprocal. But in communication, if you want to say 'I said something to him (without expecting a reply)', use 对 rather than 跟.
- Which coverb should I use with 笑 (laugh)?
- Use 对 when laughing at or toward someone (e.g., 对我笑 'smile at me'). Use 跟 when laughing together with someone (e.g., 跟你一起笑 'laugh with you'). Both are correct but carry different meanings.